


Dance With the Truth

by The_Red_Room



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11778951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Red_Room/pseuds/The_Red_Room
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to see the people that are there for you. Even if they are standing by your side. Sometimes you know they are there but don't want to come to terms with the truth.





	Dance With the Truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mostly_Angst_Whoops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostly_Angst_Whoops/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy!!

My eyes gently fluttered open I raised my hand to my throbbing head, moaning in pain as someone gently stroked my hair, I tensed at their touch. I flipped around to face them, my eyes went wide.  
“Mama?”  
“Alexander, try not to stir it will make you feel worse.” She said brushing her knuckles across my face,  
“No. NO!” I yelled backing away from her, “this is NOT REAL!” she reached for my wrist,  
“Alexander, please,” I ripped my hand way from her grasp, a tear slipped down my cheek.  
“You are not real,”  
“But I love you, I love you, Alexander,” I shook my head I threw myself off of the bed, groaning in pain my head was pounding. My lungs were like daggers poking at my ribs my stomach was churning. I pulled my knees up and buried my face in them, covering my ears with my hands but I could still hear my mother chanting ‘I love you,’  
“STOP!” The chanting stopped as there loud crashing. lifting my head I could see a piece of paper in front of me ink had spilled ruining the words written on the page. There was yelling, then heavy footsteps accompanied with a door slam. I let my feet drop and removed my hands from my ears, I was standing in a living room I seemed to be only about nine years old. My father walked in the room with a bag slung on his shoulder,  
“Papa? Where are you going?”  
“Just out I will be back soon,” He said crouching down next to me kissing my forehead, I knew he was never coming back. “I love you,” he added, stepping back from his embrace, he rushed out of the front door not looking back. The house morphed and started to cave on me, while whispers started to cloud my mind,  
“Bastard,” I head someone hiss behind me  
“Son of a whore,”  
“Immigrant,” Tears starting to escape my eyes, I kneeled down to the floor trying to covering my ears trying to drown out the noise.  
“Stop. Stop, please,”  
The noise suddenly leaving only one long high pitched note. Something hit my shoulder, slowly uncovering my ears and put my hands on the floor out in front of me. Someone shifted in front of me, I lifted my head to see James and Thomas in front of me,  
"Why should we love you? You are worthless," Thomas spat,  
"I'm sorry," I said through a choked sob,  
"Everyone you love will leave, you need to forget a ridiculous, childish idea that you could love someone, they could love you, and nothing else mattered." James snarled,  
"You do not deserve their love. You do not deserve OUR love." Thomas said shaking his head turning to leave. I tried to beg him to stay but I couldn't speak.

I tried to beg them to stay. Tried to beg for forgiveness, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get to them. I watched the only ones I loved walk away, leaving me alone. I couldn't breathe, the room around me started to spin.  
“Alexander! Wake up!”  
My eyes shot open. I tried to sit up but a strong pair of arms kept me down. My breath was short and irregular.  
“Alexander, its okay. You're safe now.” a soothing voice said behind me. I pushed off the arm holding me down.  
I could faintly see Thomas and James' faces dimly lit by the desk light, I was laying on an old couch in my dorm room. I sat up and started to rub my eyes. Trying to slow my breathing was to no avail, Thomas' and James' voices still lingering inside my head. “Nobody will ever love you.”  
I swung my legs over the couch and put my head in my hands.  
“Alexander? What did you dream about?”  
“Nothing. I'm fine.”  
“Your clearly not fine, you were just screaming in your sleep.”James said his face filled with concern. I shook my head.  
“It's nothing.”  
“Alexander please.” Thomas said his face matching James'.

Thomas was sitting next to me, he placed his hand on mine, I ripped it away.  
“Alexander, what happened?” Thomas said, taken aback by my actions.  
The images of my nightmare still infect my mind. I could hear Thomas telling me he would never love someone like me. Why would he? My own father couldn't love me. Thomas had a high status in society from the day he was born, so why would he love someone as lowly as me?  
I stood and walk towards the door. James grabbed my wrist before I could successfully leave, I flipped around to meet his eyes.  
“Why are you trying to run off?” James demanded.  
“Stop being so difficult Alexander.” Thomas added.  
Slipping my hand from James' grasp I began to speak,  
“I need to take a walk, I'll be back.” I said through a shaky breath. I start again toward the door, this time succeeding. Stepping out into the cold crisp autumn air.  
My mind raced with the images of my nightmares. What would happen if I told them everything? If I told them that I could hear my classmates whispering about me. I thought if I held my head high and tried to ignore them it wouldn't bother me, but I couldn't stop thinking about it even In my dreams.

 

Will they find me distasteful? Would they push me away? I ran my hand through my hair, I need to calm down. Dropping my head to look down at my shoes and taking a deep breath. Hearing two pairs of heavy footsteps heading in my direction. I flipped my head around in fear to only find Thomas and James heading towards me. James came up to me and handed me my coat,  
"You must be freezing, we have been looking for you for almost an hour."  
"Thanks for the coat," I said sliding it over my shoulders. Thomas moved to my right and James over to my left.  
"You know you can tell us anything." Thomas soothed, I nodded stuffing my hands in my pockets.  
"Please tell us what's bothering you so much," I took a deep breath in,  
"It's just. I guess my nightmares are getting worse, and worse by day."  
"What are you dreaming about?" Thomas asked, I could hear the undertone of concern in his voice.  
"My old life back on Nevis. Mostly my Mom and Dad, but not happy memories."  
"You haven't had those dreams in long time what triggered them?" James asked, I cast my eyes back up in front of me and stared at the building in front of me. I shook my head and let out a small laugh.  
"It's stupid."  
"It's not stupid if it bothers you this much," Thomas said, a slight edge to his voice. We started forward again,

"When I go to my classes sometimes I can hear them saying stuff. It shouldn't bother me but it does."  
"Who is? What are they saying? Who do I need to punch?" Thomas asked not even trying to mask the anger in his voice.  
"They say things about my background, I guess I've just tried so hard to push it back and not think about it, but it keeps coming back to haunt me." I let my head fall, as a tear slipped down my face. I felt a hesitant pair of arms wrap around me. I lifted my head up in astonishment to see James, I sunk into his embrace. I felt another pair of arms wrap around my shoulders.

"I need to learn a ridiculous, childish idea that I could love somone, they could love me, and nothing else mattered."


End file.
